Alchemy and Faith

but I’ll share something that I’ve come to grips with recently.  To be honest, I think this is something I’ve had to come to grips every few months or so since high school.

Some people in this world will always do whatever they want, no matter what anybody else says.

I’m not trying to get down on people who follow their heart and try to do their own thing.  I’m just observing that some people are so self absorbed in their own world that everything looks gray to them.  The problem is: things aren’t ALWAYS gray.

There are times when you SHOULD feel guilty for things you do. I’m not asking you to take a razor blade to your thighs, just admit remorse or change your attitude.  People as a whole are understanding.  The notion of the value that repentance has is engrained deeply in all of us.

But for those people who constantly buck and thrash against everything in this world that gives guidelines for decent living: I think you’re fucked.  Too much reliance on reason and logic drives people to insanity.  So go ahead and rationalize everything away in your head and sleep better at night.  You’re just a well-rested drain on society’s resources.  I think more highly of a man that has robbed and hurt people but recognized the error of his ways and apologized than I do of you.

But of course, you don’t care about my jaded opinion anyway.  Enjoy your life, but for the sake of everyone else around you: please don’t have children.

When my boss is in town I almost never stay at work past 5:00 PM.  I get in late too, usually around 10:30 or 11:00.  He complains all the time about it, but I get stuff done so he’s never really too upset.  The weird thing is that when he goes out of town, I’ll stay at work until 8:00PM or later some nights and get in by 9:00.  It makes absolutely no sense, even to me.

The real point of this story is to say that I’m exhausted from working so much.  It may just be the way I’m wired, but even when I get home and have some down time I’m still thinking about work.  I think its just a consequence of science and graduate work that your life becomes so intertwined with your work.  You practically live with your office and group mates.  You eat lunch and talk about science with the same people everyday.  Then  when you go out you see everybody again.  I think I’m starting to embrace that a little more now that my head is starting to clear of outside influences.  These are good times.